Manopause. Is it a thing?
As my husband and I engage in more and more conversations with men aged mid 30s and over, and their partners, we are discovering a similar pattern in health changes. The NHS dismisses 'manopause' as a description, but I can't help feeling this is closer to the truth than we think.
Claire Heuclin, with contributions from Marion Umney
6/16/20265 min read
Manopause. Is it a thing?
This Men’s Health Month, I have been pondering on the experiences my husband and I have shared over the last few years, the shifts in mind and body as we all age, the attention that menopause now gets for women and whether something similar is going on for men which is not yet recognised or acknowledged.
My husband has experienced significant changes in his body over the past few years and conversations with other men have led him to realise that he is not alone with this, it appears to be a thing, and we have found ourselves asking, could it be something like a male menopause?
As women we are often referred to being of a ‘certain age’, from perimenopausal and beyond, and find the medical profession increasingly inclined to shrug and tell us ‘it’s your age’ or ‘it’s normal at your stage of life’. Through these conversations with male friends and colleagues, predominantly around the late 30's and early 40's, we have found ourselves discovering that it’s not just women who are experiencing this treatment from health care professionals. It seems men are told ‘it’s stress’, ‘change your diet’, ‘change your lifestyle’. Many people we speak to are making radical changes; my husband, for example, went gluten, dairy and sugar free for a time, in an effort to feel better, but any health impact these changes had was short lived and certainly did not appear to get to the root of the problem.
The more conversations we have had around his gut issues, his stress levels, his not sleeping, losing weight, joint and muscle pain, the more social media began popping up with adverts for ‘nervous system dysregulation’, ‘vagus nerve’ and ‘muscle relief’. Gradually our kitchen table has become covered in various supplements, which have given some relief for a while, but appear to have not resolved the problem. I watch my husband rolling a tennis ball up and down his back, we have a wire next to the sofa which is attached to a grounding rod in the garden which he attaches to his wrist, he holds a pulse device on various pressure points, he has books and apps, he’s tried exercises, stretches, mindfulness and, luckily for him he lives with a masseur and reiki practitioner, so has access to these wellbeing treatments as well. Everything works, for a bit. Nothing works long term. He still seems low, distracted, tired, stiff and distant. This has been going on for years and appears to be getting progressively worse. The doctors can find nothing wrong with him. It's probably stress.
Women are given a wealth of support and information these days around the menopause and perimenopause, admittedly often conflicting and contradictory, but where do men go? Men’s mental health is discussed more openly now, which is wonderful, but when men are experiencing physical symptoms which are not showing up through medical examinations and are dismissed as stress, what do they do next? Even NHS counselling services, which we are grateful to have access to, aren’t always appropriate or offering the correct care. The fact remains that male suicide rates are at their peak between the ages of 45 and 54 in the UK and 74% of all suicides are men. As a result of these statistics there has historically been more focus on male middle aged suicide prevention, however these statistics are not significantly changing and suicide rates continue to rise across the UK. Surely there must be more to this?
Is it time we put some of our efforts into better understanding the impact of hormonal changes in men over the age of 40? Biologically it is proven that male hormones change as they grow older, similarly to women, but at a much less dramatic rate and over a gradual and longer period of time. Does this mean the impact won’t be as significant though? It may not be as dramatic but if men are losing testosterone at a rate of 1% over approximately 10 years from the age of 30, it seems likely that a 10% decrease would have an impact by the time they hit 40. The NHS acknowledges that from around 40-50 many men experience:
mood swings and irritability
loss of muscle mass and reduced ability to exercise
fat redistribution, such as developing a large belly or "man boobs" (gynaecomastia)
a general lack of enthusiasm or energy
difficulty sleeping (insomnia) or increased tiredness
poor concentration and short-term memory
Sound familiar ladies? And yet even the article which identifies these symptoms dismisses the idea of it being a hormonal imbalance and continues to reference mid life crisis, stress and lifestyle.
The American Council on Science and Health address this very issue. They say, ‘As men age, the conversation around “low testosterone” often oversimplifies a far more complex story. Hormones influence mood, motivation, and vitality - but so do sleep, stress, and lifestyle. Understanding how these factors intersect empowers men to take charge of their physical and mental health with clarity rather than confusion.’
This article sites other hormones at play and recognises that, as these hormones shift, men may notice low mood, irritability, fatigue, brain fog, and reduced stress tolerance.
This is also not a new phenomenon. When I was growing up, I was used to hearing the terms ‘mid-life crisis’, ‘middle aged spread’, ‘grumpy old man’ in relation to men of a certain age. This terminology seems out dated now but I'm not sure whether the right thing has been identified to replace it. A lot of people these days are quick to blame micro plastics or other environmental factors and, while I whole heartedly acknowledge that our living environment in todays society can not be doing our health any good, a conversation with my mum made it apparent that even 40 years ago my dad experienced many of these changes. When I first started speaking to her about this and the idea of a blog around the topic she said she had nothing to contribute. This was seconds before she proceeded to tell me all about how, as he turned 50, my dad was seeking early retirement and, before being diagnosed with such high stress that he was given a year to live if he didn’t make significant changes, he had been trying to remove himself from a high end job in London in favour of some time to relax and recuperate. Was this midlife crisis, or was this his body telling him he needed to make changes and that he could no longer function at the same level he had previously, as a result of physical changes? As a result of not being heard, his body made him stop by sending a warning via his heart. Are these physical symptoms giving all these men we speak to a warning sign of something more serious going on, or are they simply a natural shift which needs to be heard and responded to?
So, my question becomes, why do health professionals continue to fail to take a holistic approach to middle aged health care? Would it not be helpful to not only be looking at lifestyle but acknowledging the natural aging processes and the impact this has on our bodies, to help us to find a way to navigate our changing hormones alongside changing societal expectations and general physical depletion? We need to acknowledge the ‘manopause’, not dismiss it. My heart cries out "If only men and women could work together for a better understanding of how each other differs rather than fighting for an unreachable ‘equality', the world may be a much happier place…"
07590 839312
© 2024. All rights reserved.
