A Little Calmer Asks....Why can't I switch off?
Every day, many of us quietly ask ourselves questions like: Why can't I switch off? Why am I so tired? Why do I feel guilty resting? This series explores those questions with kindness, curiosity and practical ideas to help you create a little more calm in everyday life.
A LITTLE CALMER ASKS...
Claire, A Little Calmer
7/7/20264 min read
A Little Calmer Asks…
Why can’t I switch off?
If you've ever wondered why you can't seem to switch off, even when you've finally sat down at the end of the day, you're not alone.
Many of us have found ourselves living in a world that constantly competes for our attention. Our brains rarely get the chance to rest before the next notification, email or task arrives.
In this digital age, where we never switch off our phones, have access to 24 hour TV shows, can stream what we want when we want, are always available to people via text, WhatsApp, social media, phone call and are bombarded with adverts, news and updates throughout the day, is it any wonder we can’t switch off?
We use our devices now for almost everything we do. We use them as phones, laptops and tablets, for work and general communications, but it doesn’t stop there. We bank with them, we read books on them, we do our shopping on them, we use them to find things out, we have 24-hour access to our emails, personal and work, we play games on them, we stream movies and music on them, we monitor our health on them…the bulk of our lives are on our devices. And now, with AI, many people consider these devices to be their friend and ally. And do we ever switch them off? No, we do not. So, at what point do we expect to switch off ourselves? Perhaps that's why so many of us feel as though our minds are constantly busy, even when we’re sitting quietly on the sofa. Our bodies are home, but our brains are still catching up.
I have become increasingly aware of just how much time I spend on my phone, and I would like to consider myself someone who does not bend to instant gratification, I will not always answer my phone and I do not feel the need to read and reply to messages the second my phone dings, however more and more I find myself saying to my 5 year old son, “hang on a sec” while I finish reading an email on my phone or composing a WhatsApp reply or even scrolling through Vinted! I have often talked about putting my phone away when I pick my son up from school, so that I can’t be distracted by it and can give him my full attention, but then I’ll need a recipe for dinner, which is on my phone, or he’ll ask me about something which I can very quickly look up, on my phone, and back out it comes! I have also discussed only checking my work emails at certain times of the day, but as a business owner in the early days of growth, I am keen to respond quickly to enquiries and therefore I keep alerts on my phone for when a new business email comes in, and 9/10 times I respond to it, immediately.
Sometimes I long for a return to the 1980s, when checking your emails meant waiting for the computer to fire up while you made a cup of tea, listening to the dulcet tones of the modem dialling up. And if someone wanted to get hold of you? They'd leave a message on the landline answering machine and you'd call them back when you had time.
It's no surprise that so many of us feel permanently tired. Not necessarily because we've done too much physically, but because our brains have spent the entire day processing information. So, with life being so full on is it surprising we are forgetting how to switch ourselves off and is it any more surprising that more and more of us are searching for ways to slow down?
I found Indian Head Massage over 20 years ago, in the days when advertising involved flyers through people’s doors and in local highstreets, and through word of mouth. I have always loved it, having the skills to make people feel relaxed, to watch shoulder and neck tension melt away and see how calm people look after taking a little bit of time just for them. And that was at a time when things were only starting to speed up to the rate at which we live our lives today.
Reiki came into my life only 8 years ago, but it was a game changer for me and, as someone who has a strong sense of the energy of all things in life, it was a natural fit and something people had often mentioned when I had originally trained in massage. These two therapies now give me the perfect opportunity to provide deep relaxation. Many clients tell me they leave feeling calmer, more relaxed and better able to cope with everyday stress. What a wonderful thing it is to be able to share this with people, I feel lucky every time I watch a client float out of my studio door. Some clients tell me the biggest surprise isn't that they fall asleep during a treatment. It's that, for the first time in weeks, they realise they weren't thinking about their to-do list.
So why can't you switch off? Perhaps because you've never really been shown how. We live in a world that celebrates productivity, rewards being busy and keeps us constantly connected. Slowing down just because we want to, not because we must, can almost feel uncomfortable, or even guilty. But rest isn't something we have to earn. It's something we need.
The good news is that switching off isn't something we've forgotten forever. Like any habit, it can be practised. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as putting your phone in another room for ten minutes, stepping outside for a few deep breaths, or giving yourself permission to pause without feeling you have to be productive.
This Week's A Little Calmer Moment
Before you move on with your day...
Take one slow breath.
Drop your shoulders.
Relax your jaw.
Uncross your legs.
Unclench your hands.
Notice the chair supporting you.
Just for a moment...
allow yourself to do nothing at all.
You deserve moments like these.
Until next week...
Stay a little calmer.
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